Twitter Knight
by abstractular
Summary: Ever wonder what would happen if the Vampire Knight Characters had twitter? Well, let's find out. WARNING: Complete and total crack! OOC and halarity inside


**DISCLAIMER:** This crack-fic is incredibly OOC on the highest level and is the result of an all nighter hopped up on Mountain Dew. Take none of it seriously, we don't actually write like this nor do we portray the characters like this in any serious fiction that we write. If anyone actually does take this seriously...you have MAJOR issues.

Takes place after Kaname and Yuuki leave Cross Academy

...................................................

YOUR 15 FOLLOWERS

**Ba_ching** / Hanabusa Aidou

**CrisxCross** / Kaien Cross

**Notapirate** / Touga Yagari

**Akatsuki** / Akatsuki Kain

**K_fan** / Ruka Souen

**ModelS** / Senri Shiki

**Tea4two** / Takuma Ichijou

**Loligirl** / Rima Tooya

**Yori_bff** / Sayori Wakaba

**Birkenstock** / Seiren

**True_Kuran** / Rido Kuran

**UncleDiddles** / Ichiou

**Browneyedgirl** / Yuuki Kuran

**KKuran** / Kaname Kuran

**0Kiryuu** / Zero Kiryuu

**..................................................**

**Tea4two**: would like to GTFO of this cage. Hey thanks KKuran for remembering me

**KKuran**: Tea4two Senri and Rima are on it, I have to help Yuuki adjust, clear my name, and be a leader now. Sorry.

**ModelS**: =_=

**Loligirl**: Never seen Shiki this scared before

**Tea4two**: KKuran oh look, you've got Shiki all worried! Gee, I guess I can wait. It's not like I'm LOCKED IN A CAGE

**ModelS**: Tea4two =_=

**0Kiryuu**: Still hates Kuran. Need new bullets for Bloody Rose.

**CrisxCross**: Finds Hunter's prison slightly less nice than regular prison. Less raping, more rats.

**Notapirate**: CrisxCross Shut the hell up. I'm working on getting you out. 0Kiryuu I got you more and stop skipping class

**0Kiryuu**: Notapirate...Fuck you.

**CrisxCross**: Notapirate I hate to complain here, but my ass could warn ships of low tide

**ModelS**: CrisxCross =_=;

**Ba_Ching**: I'd really like to know where KKuran is

**Tea4two**: Ba_Ching I can tell you where he's NOT

**KKuran**: Ba_Ching You don't need to know yet. Tea4two You're starting to annoy

**Ba_Ching**: Tea4two how are you even able to use Twitter there?

**Tea4two**: KKuran annoy? so sorry there, I must be delirious from the STARVATION AND BEATINGS

**Tea4two**: Ba_Ching It's prison, not China. Internet's everywhere

**Loligirl**: Tea4two if you turned on your GPS it'd be much easier to locate you.

**ModelS**: -_-

**Akatsuki**: Is trying to restrain Ba_Ching

**Ba_Ching**: Is attempting not to kill K_fan for having pictures I do not

**CrisxCross**: Thinks I would prefer Tea4two 's cage compared to my cellmate who wants to make me Mrs. Bubba

**ModelS**: CrisxCross =o=

**Notapirate**: Has successfully convinced Association to let out CrisxCross

**CrisxCross**: Is trying not to notice the noise the wind makes over his newly freed ass. Suggests Bubba find work as an oil drill

**Browneyedgirl**: Tea4two I'm trying to convince KKuran that I'll be okay long enough for him to get you

**K_fan**: Browneyedgirl God forbid you not be able to open the potato chip bag while he's away

**KKuran**: Browneyedgirl And how exactly do you expect to attain blood while I'm gallivanting off, my love? Use Aidou?

**Browneyedgirl**: K_fan Hey, cause we can't be any more jealous that I sleep with him, now can we?

**Ba_Ching**: Just threw up in the mouth a little at KKuran 's suggestion

**CrisxCross**: Browneyedgirl DADDY HAS MISSED YOU SO MUCH

**Browneyedgirl**: CrisxCross Happy that you're no longer someone's buttmonkey, Daddy

**ModelS**: +_+

**0Kiryuu**: Would like to know what everyone's obsession with cages, chains, and asses are. Kink much, people?

**Browneyedgirl**: Is wondering how 0Kiryuu is doing...

**0Kiryuu**: Browneyedgirl I'm getting cooling cream for CrisxCross 's ass. That's how I'm doing.

**CrisxCross**: 0Kiryuu and one of those inflatable donut things please.....

**0Kiryuu**: Is throwing up now, kthxbai

**Browneyedgirl**: Really didn't need to know that much about her father.

**Tea4two**: thinks he might have gotten the better deal....

**Notapirate**: Thinks it just sounds like another Saturday night, but whatever.

**CrisxCross**: Notapirate at least you buy me dinner first

**Loligirl**: Tea4two Really. GPS. He ate all the pockey.

**ModelS**: -_- *burp*

**Tea4two**: Loligirl son of a- *looks for button*

**True_Kuran**: *is hiding out under ground and waiting* TeeHee!

**Unclediddles**: TeeHee x2

**Tea4two**: O_O

**KKuran**: O_O

**Browneyedgirl**: ...*steps in front of KKuran *.....maybe if we stand still...he won't notice

**True_Kuran**: *is starting another sexy orgy*

**CrisxCross**: *is tired of sexy orgies*

**0Kiryuu**: *is tired of cooling cream*

**Tea4two**: *is tired of being Uke to a shemale

**ModelS**: Tea4two =_= ...

**Loligirl**: *is tired of walking in a wood and getting nowhere* Seriously. GPS.

**Tea4two**: Loligirl what's this button do?

**Ba_Ching**: *is tired of K_fan stealing his treasures*

**Loligirl**: Tea4two Obviously not activate the GPS, because we still can't find you.

**K_fan**: wonders why Ba_Ching has 15 pairs of KKuran 's underwear

**KKuran**: Is storing up one hell of a bitch slap for Ba_Ching

**Tea4two**: Loligirl obviously, but I did manage to send KKuran a wonderful pic of my ass

**Ba_Ching**: K_fan Same reason 0Kiryuu has two pairs of Browneyedgirl 's panties.

**0Kiryuu**: Ba_Ching I object to that. She merely left them in the laundry room when she left. I folded them for her. That's all.

**KKuran**: Tea4two Hey, thanks, cause I wasn't already in pain from the hand getting ripped off.

**CrisxCross**: 0Kiryuu I don't recall any of her laundry being left behind.....

**0Kiryuu**: CrisxCross .....I had folded it and put it away before you got there.

**Ba_Ching**: 0Kiryuu Yeah. Put it away. In your pants.

**ModelS**: Tea4two =_=

**Tea4two**: ModelS I miss you too

**Browneyedgirl**: 0Kiryuu.....Um....I had actually been missing two pairs of underwear for like 3 weeks before I left.

**K_fan** Browneyedgirl pretty sure you stole my shoes too....

**KKuran**: Is preparing to rip off 0Kiryuu 's balls

**0Kiryuu**: Will not let KKuran anywhere near his balls, thanks very much.

**CrisxCross**: Can't believe his children are full of hormones...

**0Kiryuu**: CrisxCross .........I'm 18

**Browneyedgirl**: K_fan Like I could fit into your big fat giant feet shoes.

**Browneyedgirl**: 0Kiryuu ....That's okay...I stole one of your dress shirts before I left.

**0Kiryuu**: Browneyedgirl ....Yuuki....

**KKuran**: Browneyedgirl 0Kiryuu................*FLOUNCE*

**ModelS**: --_-- KKuran ...............................gay

**Ba_Ching**: Browneyedgirl YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF HIM!

**KKuran**: ModelS ........Oh Go find your Boyfriend.

**K_fan** Browneyedgirl WHAT HE SAID

**Akatsuki**: Now has to restrain K_fan and Ba_Ching

**ModelS**: KKuran =_= ?

**Notapirate**: can't believe the enormous amount of faggotry going on in this website

**CrisxCross**: wouldn't touch that comment with a ten foot pole *snickers*

**0Kiryuu**: Admittedly rather misses Browneyedgirl

**KKuran**: Admittedly rather misses his hand

**Tea4two**: admittedly rather misses indoor plumbing

**ModelS**: --_-- Tea4two

**True_Kuran**: *Is finished with Orgy* Om Nom Nom fun! ^_^

**Loligirl**: Tea4two how bad do you smell right now?

**Unclediddles**: True_Kuran I likes to watch

**Tea4two**: Loligirl take a dead fish, roll it in a hobo's tshirt and pee on it. That would smell good right now

**Browneyedgirl**: Honestly misses 0Kiryuu

**Loligirl**: Tea4two ......That's gross.

**ModelS**: Tea4two X_X

**KKuran**: Browneyedgirl ......Do you want to leave?

**Browneyedgirl**: KKuran No! Of course not!

**K_fan**: poo...

**0Kiryuu**: Wishes that Browneyedgirl would MAKE UP HER DAMN MIND

**Ba_Ching**: Wishes that Browneyedgirl would leave so I can comfort KKuran

**CrisxCross**: wishes he didn't make a tuba sound when he farts

**Tea4two**: wishes he hadn't read that

**Notapirate**: CrisxCross ...I thought that was the kids in the Music room...

**Loligirl**: Is finding out far too much information about people.

**True_Kuran**: Is sweeping the ashes from his underground den. So Messy. Blech.

**Unclediddles**: always updates after True_Kuran

**KKuran**: Never knew True_Kuran was auditioning on the new season of Queer Eye For The Straight Guy

**True_Kuran**: Wishes Unclediddles would get off my cock.

**Unclediddles**: True_Kuran omnomnomnom

**True_Kuran**: Sighs. Eh, alright.

**CrisxCross**: sounds like thursday night.....

**Loligirl**: Sees a giant mansion. Thinks this might be the place.

**Tea4two**: Loligirl you'd better mean you're looking for me and not at the playboy mansion

**Notapirate**: CrisxCross Which is switching to Monday nights.

**Loligirl**: Tea4two Cause I would take him there why?

**ModelS**: --_-- .........grotto

**Akatsuki**: Finally has some peace and quiet.

**Browneyedgirl**: Is thinking of visiting CrisxCross

**CrisxCross**: Browneyedgirl I'd love to see you. Anytime's good......except Monday nights

**0Kiryuu**: Will be out whenever Browneyedgirl comes to visit. Don't come unless you intend to stay.

**Notapirate**: Wonders when he raised such a rude student.

**K_fan**: will gladly help Browneyedgirl pack

**Browneyedgirl**: Will gladly pack a stick up K_fan 's ass if she doesn't shut up.

**CrisxCross**: has a terrible flashback...

**Notapirate**: *sighs and rocks CrisxCross *

**KKuran**: Will go with Browneyedgirl to visit CrisxCross

**K_fan**: *sad face*

**Tea4two** : AHEM still here

**Loligirl**: Wrong Mansion.

**Tea4two**: *sad face*

**ModelS**: --_--

**Loligirl**: Will keep looking.

**Browneyedgirl**: Is visiting CrisxCross .....Why do you still have an ice pack there?

**CrisxCross**: um..... Notapirate

**Notapirate**: Browneyedgirl .......It's a new portal to Narnia.

**Browneyedgirl**: ............KKuran We can go home now.

**KKuran**: Browneyedgirl Right behind you

**Browneyedgirl**: KKuran....please, bad choice of words

**True_Kuran**: Cleaned all the ashes. Teehee!

**Unclediddles**: TeeHee!

**True_Kuran**: Unclediddles Seriously. My Cock. Get off at anytime.

**Unclediddles**: True_Kuran can't hear you....busy omnomming

**KKuran**: Ba_Ching K_fan Seriously. My dick. Get off at any time.

**K_fan**: KKuran *mumbles* if I could get ON it, you wouldn't say that

**0Kiryuu**: Doesn't like sleeping over at CrisxCross 's on Monday nights.

**Browneyedgirl**: Is going to beat the tar out of K_fan if she doesn't back the hell off my

Man.

**KKuran**: ......Would actually like to watch that.

**0Kiryuu**: ........Would also like to watch that.

**Birkenstock**: Would also like to watch that.

**Akatsuki**: ................Ditto.

**Ba_Ching**: Birkenstock I KNEW YOU WERE A LESBIAN!

**Tea4two**: eh....it's okay I guess...

**Loligirl**: Tea4two ModelS what if I joined in for no apparent reason?

**Birkenstock**: *ninjas away*

**Ba_Ching**:.........Knew she was a lesbian.

**ModelS**: Loligirl --_~

**Tea4two**: Loligirl .....I'm...listening....

**Loligirl**: Found another mansion

**ModelS**: 3

**Loligirl**: Apparently the right mansion. I'm looking at the blonde bitch right now.

**ModelS**: _ *whip*

**Loligirl**: *Lightening Powa*

**Tea4two**: *is hard*

**Loligirl**: Tea4two Really don't think now is the time

**ModelS**: ~_~

**Loligirl**: Has killed Blonde bitch with **ModelS**

**Browneyedgirl**: Loligirl YAY!!!

**ModelS**: $_$

**Tea4two**: can finally pee.......oh, and is glad his friends are here

**Loligirl**: Tea4two ........You need shower.

**0Kiryuu**: Has finished killing lots of shit. Also needs shower.

**ModelS**: Tea4two x_x ........^_^

**Tea4two**: ModelS ok I'll wash, and I'm happy to see you too

**Browneyedgirl**: Is trying very hard not to think of 0Kiryuu in a shower

**Loligirl**: Is trying to find a big enough shower.

**Yori_bff**: Is....not spying and taking notes for Browneyedgirl about water consumption

**Browneyedgirl**: Loves Yori_bff

**KKuran**: Is trying not to be offended.

**0Kiryuu**: Is wondering what the hell that flashing outside the window is.

**Yori_bff**: 0Kiryuu oh please...you were posing

**0Kiryuu**: ......Yori_bff I know not what you mean

**Yori_bff**: takes pictures of 0Kiryuu while he sleeps too

**Browneyedgirl**: Yori_bff ....These pictures. I can has them?

**Loligirl**: Is much happier now.

**Tea4two**: Is enjoying a big, clean, bed....but not for long *snicker*

**0Kiryuu**: Browneyedgirl ......And you can't come see a live show, why?

**ModelS**: Tea4two Loligirl --_--

**KKuran**: 0Kiryuu ........Because she has a fiance.

**Yori_bff**: *videotapes half nekkid happiness for her bestie*

**Browneyedgirl**: KKuran 0Kiryuu But.....I mean.......You two would do pretty much....Anything....for me, right?

**0Kiryuu**: ...........Is feeling weirded out slightly.

**Ba_ching**: NO WAY WOULD KANAME-SAMA EVER SHOW IS MIRACULOUS FIGURE IN FRONT OF THAT LEVEL D!

**Yori_bff**: Browneyedgirl *nosebleeds*

**Browneyedgirl**: Yori_bff Right there with ya.

**Tea4two**: 0Kiryuu KKuran don't knock it till you try it

**KKuran**: ......Browneyedgirl ..............If it will make you happy, I'm listening.

**0Kiryuu**: .........Browneyedgirl .......If it gets me more panties I'm listening.

**Notapirate**: CrisxCross .....Your kids are perverts.

**Yori_bff**: Browneyedgirl God I love you......

**True_Kuran**: *Is starting another Ashey Orgy* Teehee!

**Unclediddles**: *is dragged around latched to True_Kuran's zipper*

**Browneyedgirl**: ^_^

**0Kiryuu**: ....... ._.

**Yori_bff**: Browneyedgirl /_\ doo eeeet

**Loligirl**: Browneyedgirl Just do it.

**Tea4two**: you know...it might work

**ModelS**: --_--

**Browneyedgirl**: KKuran and 0Kiryuu Will be occupied for the next few hours.

**Ba_Ching**: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

**Glasses4Kiryuu**: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**Yori_bff**: yessssssssssssssssssss

**Loligirl**: Is relaxed.

**Notapirate**: ........Is slightly scarred.

**Tea4two**: is snickering like a drunk moron

**ModelS**: ^_^

**CrisxCross**: is butthurt...no really his butt hurts

**Notapirate**: ......Might be a pirate.

**Loligirl**: ....Now knows the real reason for the eyepatch

**Browneyedgirl**: Is feeling much better now.

**0Kiryuu**:...........^_^

**KKuran**: Is hugging Tea4two I will never doubt you again.

**Yori_bff**: now has pictures of 0Kiryuu and KKuran being happy happy. Loves Browneyedgirl to the end of time

**True_Kuran**: *has killed UncleDiddles* TeeHee!

**Unclediddles**: *is daid*

**ModelS**: --_--


End file.
